Key Signs You Might Be a Thru-Hiker

Thru-hiking will change you in many ways. Your attitude toward cleanliness, what foods go together, and attentiveness to how much things weigh are a few of them. Other changes will be far more profound.

All niche sport groups have their lingo, their look, and their identifying quirks. Thru-hikers are no different. This month I’m sharing some of the dead giveaways that you—or someone you know—might be a thru-hiker. As humorous as some of these idiosyncrasies may be, they often reflect deeper transformations with regard to some very important aspects of life. Your goals, what you value, your self-esteem, how you see others, and what you believe you’re capable of will all shift. If you find yourself nodding along, consider what other root beliefs associated may have been impacted or changed by a long walk across the country (or two).

I hope that ultimately, this list makes you laugh even if it also sparks some deeper reflection.

Enjoy!

• Wash your spork by licking it clean. Furthermore, thru-hikers will find a way to eat anything with one utensil.
• Think that town food is the most exciting reason to wake up in the morning. You also know that the day after eating town food you will regret it.
• You treat dirt as a form of sunscreen. Additionally, you are surprised to find that your “tan” washes off when you take a shower.
• On that note, you think bathing once a week for months is acceptable. Washing laundry is even more optional.
• You believe in (Trail) Angels. Thru-hikers often experience a renewed belief in humanity after experiencing the kindness of strangers over and over again.
• Use terms like near-o, tramily, and cold-soak. Carrying on a conversation with a group of thru-hikers can be disorienting if you haven’t done a long trail before.
• You have worn out a pair of shoes in just a few weeks. Additionally, you’ve literally walked holes into a pair of socks in a similar time-frame.
• You think any break in the clouds on a rainy day is a good reason to pull absolutely everything out of your pack to dry. Meanwhile, when the sun has been out for more than a few hours you’ll search for a shady spot to eat peanut butter.
• Say things like, “It’s only 200 miles.” Thru-hikers also act nonchalant about walking a marathon every day.
• Believe walking distance includes something 2000 miles away. But you still don’t want to walk a quarter mile from your hotel room to the grocery store when staying in town.
• Your backpacking gear is worth more than your car. Also, your most expensive outfit is made by outdoor clothing companies.
• Cut tags out of clothing to reduce pack weight. But, you’ll also carry a case of beer out of town.
• Truly believe that a 16oz bag of chips weighs less than a pound. You’re also committed to walking an extra .1 mile because you heard there’s a trash can there where you can throw away 3 granola bar wrappers and an empty Ziploc baggie.
• You spend six months walking across the country; swear that you’ll never do it again—and spend the next six months planning another thru-hike. Enough said.