Have you ever looked at someone’s social media and thought, “Wow, I wish I was doing that!” or said yes to plans with 3 friends on the same weekend, but felt guilty and upset that you missed out on a 4th thing?
The Fear of Missing Out is a very real phenomenon and it is often amplified by social media. No matter how many great things you do, it’s easy to be bombarded by a steady stream of people doing other cool things, resulting in a near constant “grass is greener” feeling. If you’re someone who has an adventurous friend group, it can be even worse as you may find yourself missing out on skiing to run a 50k or miss climbing a peak in order to climb a different one. The truth is, comparing yourself and what you’re doing to anyone else is always going to lead to disappointment. This is true whether you’re comparing adventures, looks, income, or vacations.
Over the years, there have been periods of time where I have felt an incredible sense of FOMO. No matter how much I did, there were other people doing things that looked so much more exciting. It always led to extreme dissatisfaction with my own life, even when I was packing my schedule full of adventure and travel. Not only was it leading to diminishing returns on enjoyment, it was also burning me out. So, I developed the following simple method to help me break free of FOMO and live my own authentic life.
Make a list.
I don’t really like the term “bucket list,” so instead I created a more general list of things that were important to me. These were ways I liked spending my free time as well as more personal choices. My list included things like spending time with my family, visiting new countries, and working on peak lists. If you have a very specific bucket list, that works too. Then, categorize the list by how important it is to do each thing (imperative, very important, important, etc.) and how much time you want to spend doing each thing. When conflicting opportunities come up, I can see where they each fit and then choose what meets my goals.
Examine your feelings.
When I experience FOMO I pause and ask myself why. Do I feel excluded? Is that something that ranked very highly on my list and I’m sad to miss out? Or does it just look like so much fun? Understanding why you feel FOMO can help you release those feelings when you’re missing out on something that doesn’t align with your list.
Be honest.
Don’t make up stories about why you should do something or why you feel bad about not doing something. Being honest with yourself about your feelings will help you move through them and accept them. With practice it will also help you identify what you’re feeling sooner as well.
Be grateful.
Finally, when you feel like you’re missing out, be grateful for what you have. If you did one thing and feel like you missed out on the other, list or say 5 things you’re grateful for about the option you did do. If you’re dealing with a general sense of missing out on an amazing adventure, list or say 10 things you are grateful for about your daily life. A grateful heart is a happy one.
