You Are Not Invisible

Do you ever feel invisible? I mean, obviously, you know that you exist because life’s demands are loud, your days are long, and you are constantly doing so much for everyone around you. But I’m talking about who you are at the core. Do you feel like you are vanishing away and coming close to disappearing? I want you to know, I see you. There have been days I felt like I was slowly disappearing. I began to grow so quiet that it was hard to know my voice. I quickly realized that if I didn’t find myself soon, I would be lost for good.

The walls I had built around myself were beginning to close in on me. Don’t get me wrong, it was quite the process to tear down the walls I had built. But once I took a hammer to the walls that held me captive, it was a happy occasion. I once again found joy in being silly, laughing loudly, and loving big. Oh, what a sad day it would have been had I locked myself away permanently. I am so thankful that I was able to find my way out of the dark isolation to see the beautiful world around me. I wrote this for anyone who has felt invisible or slowly feels like they are disappearing. I hope you feel a little more seen.

I see you!

Oh, little one laying in a cradle, unable to communicate your needs: You smile and laugh and see the world with a beautiful untainted lens – I see you.

You- yes, you- with the adorable tutu on spinning in circles: You desire to be fearless and strong.  The world is magical and full of adventures.  When the music plays, you never think twice you just dance – I see you.

Young one who thinks she is grown: You have big feelings, and you are not quite sure what you should feel and how you can express them. You are beginning to see the world with skepticism and yet are full of hope at the same time – I see you.

Dear one who is about to leave the comfort of the labyrinth walls built with cinderblock that has been filled with your friends and all you have known for the past 13 years: You have longed for this day, and in many ways, it is a sign of relief.  At the same time, what lies before you are completely unknown and full of what-ifs. In your short 18 years, you have experienced grief, love, heartbreak, success, and failure. The world may be your steppingstone, but it also feels like it has tripped you up a little bit lately – I see you.

Oh, woman of the world: You have finished the task someone else has laid before you, and now each step is uncharted. You have so many dreams and yet the reality of day-to-day life takes a little more from you than you had hoped. You are still trying to make something of yourself. You invest so much in those around you without considering the cost. You are beginning to morph into the expectations others have set before you. While the world is full of possibilities, you wonder what is possible for you – I see you.

My dear who has now entered the season of life you dreamed of for so long is but are now confused because it doesn’t quite feel like you thought it would: You long for the carefree feeling you see in your children, and yet at the same time you are trying to be guardian over those you love. Success looks different these days. Where once it was landing a business deal, today it is remembering all the kids at carpool and getting the laundry put away before it is time to fall asleep. The world seems to be moving so fast in all different directions, that at times, it makes your head spin – I see you.

Hey, you over there, sitting quietly by yourself: You have given the last 20 years to ensure the wellbeing of those little ones, and are now wondering what comes next. You try to remember what made you laugh. You have found yourself in a position where that world that was full of endless possibilities seems like a lifetime ago – I see you.

I see you because I have been in each of these situations. I have learned that we are never as isolated as we think. The beauty I have found in running with my fellow sisters is that each of us has been where the other is today. We all have a story to share. Once we share that story, we bond as we laugh at the hard, cry with the sad, and journey side by side. I continue to see that this life is so much better when we do it together. So today, I want you to know that I see you, and if I am honest, I believe you see me too.