Finding a Sense of Belonging Among the Running Community

It was a Monday night. I laced up my trail shoes and drove to South Mountain. My tummy was fluttering and my hands were shaking. As I got closer to the mountains in South Phoenix, my mind raced faster and faster.

“What if I’m too slow?”
“What if they notice I’m too slow?”
“What if they have to stop and wait for me to catch up?”
“What if they think I’m not a real runner and I don’t belong?”
“What if I make a fool out of myself?”

I pulled into the parking lot at Pima Canyon trailhead, feeling so nervous I could almost vomit. I grabbed my headlamp and headed towards a group of at least 20 people gathered in the lot. It was impossible to mistake the group with all the trail trainers, bright-colored shorts, and headlamps situated perfectly center at everyone’s foreheads. I walked timidly up to the group, clutching my headlamp as if I were headed into a deep ocean and it was some sort of flotation device that had the potential to save my life. It didn’t make much sense how nervous I was, given that the last year or so of my life I had spent traveling the world, and when you’re traveling solo, being shy is just not an option. I reminded myself that I am not a timid person, and I walked over to a sweet-natured woman with red hair and a wide smile to introduce myself.

When I left the States to travel the world after experiencing a traumatic event in my life, I had a specific mission for myself. I wanted to find hope, and prove to myself that kindness can heal cruelty. I eventually termed this mission the “Collecting Beautiful Moments” initiative. No matter what city or country I found myself in, I endeavored to connect with as many people as possible. What I ended up with was a bevy of meaningful experiences bonding with people whom I shared commonalities and differences. I was inspired by their stories, and motivated by their wisdom and insights. It was more than receiving and giving kindness, it was forming friendships in the most unexpected yet natural ways. The tough part about forming friendships while traveling, though, is that eventually you have to keep moving on, and while the wide world of technology allows us many options to keep in contact with one another, it can still be heart-wrenching when you leave the friends you’ve made. I felt that same heart-wrench when I left my friends in the States, and after over a year of traveling the world, I decided I wanted to return home and reunite with my friends… and my warm bed and Border Collie – I couldn’t wait to fall asleep to his gentle snores once again!

I was actually a little scared to return home after being away for so long. It did prove difficult to adjust, and feelings of loneliness began to penetrate my otherwise contented existence. My reunion with old friends was lovely, but can you believe that they continued to move on with their lives while I was away? Alright, maybe that’s not so shocking but for some reason I hadn’t really prepared myself for that. I was able to pick things up with a couple of friends as if I had never left, but others were at new jobs or in new relationships or exciting transitions in their lives. I’m so happy for them. But I found myself dealing with gaps in my days that I hadn’t prepared for.

As I struggled to adjust to life back at home, I reflected on my travels and what made them so special. It was the people I’d met, the friends I’d made, the adventures I had in good company. I decided that was the answer: I needed to meet new people and share in something that is important to me. Running, for me and like for so many others, is one of my most primary coping mechanisms (okay it is the primary coping mechanism). It’s one of the most important aspects of who I am and how I live my life. So it made sense that I should join a local running group, and let me tell you, it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I’ve never really run with other people before, other than with my ex-partner prior to leaving the States. When I was living in Tennessee many years ago, I was invited by a gym buddy to join a local running group. I struggled with the decision because I really wanted to make friends who enjoyed running like I do, but I also felt scared. Thanks to my persistent friend, social anxiety, my fears got the best of the decision-making part of my brain and I never ended up joining. If only I had known then what I know now!

The immediate response I received upon introducing myself to the woman I first noticed at the group was one of enthusiasm. I was instantly reminded that this was, in fact, a good idea and as I started running, my fears quickly dissipated. The other runners were so welcoming towards me, and I now enjoy welcoming new faces to the group. I’ve met some of the kindest people, formed friendships, and have learned many running-related tricks and tips that you just can’t get by watching YouTube.

I was also inspired to sign up for my first ultramarathon (well, my first race ever), a 50k on beautiful trails in Superior, Arizona. It was one of the best days of my life for many reasons, not the least being the amount of love I experienced at the finish. I was actually a little frustrated with myself towards the last four miles of the race because I was making very good time, but then I missed my turn and cost myself about four miles near the end. I kept telling myself that it was okay, it was my first race, and the initial goal was to do it and finish, not to worry about placement. I gathered my thoughts and empowered myself to embrace the experience. I reached the road in Superior to the finish line, and as I was heading up the street, I heard my name followed by loud cheers. I recognized the voice as one of my fellow group runners, and to my gleeful surprise I looked over at one of the saloons lining the street and there were several of my friends from the running group cheering me on. I had no idea any of them were going to be at this race, apparently several of them made a last-minute decision just as I did, and they all raced at other distances. It was a pleasant surprise to see them there, and it gave me such a feeling of acceptance. Afterwards, they all came to congratulate me on my first race, and I expressed my gratitude for them. It really impacted me because I honestly cannot recall a time in my life when I’ve had a group of anyone cheering for me. I have had friends uplift me and root for me, so I do not want to discount that. But I’ve never actually experienced friends cheering out loud for me like that. It was a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life, and was the perfect way to top off an ice cream of the day! I eagerly signed up for more races and am now training for a 50 miler in Alaska this summer. People talk about runner’s high, and it is a real thing for sure. For me, a big part of the high-above-the-clouds feeling I get after a race is largely powered by the support I experience from other runners and volunteers at the race. It is truly something special.

That sense of support and acceptance is something that I’ve found to be so unique about the running community. Whether they’re friends you’ve met through a running group, or other runners and volunteers who are attending the same race as you, they are always rooting for you and encouraging you, just for being out there. There’s kind of this shared understanding that there’s something special about running, and though we all have our own reasons and motivations for being out there, we are also all challenging our bodies and minds in ways that help us grow and give us positive feelings, whether that be peace or accomplishment or something else.

While there are many reasons people get into trail running, there’s also simply a unique dynamic among those who have been running for years. Running is a passion and part of our identity rather than something we’re doing for fitness or status. Nothing wrong with either, but I’ve definitely discovered a sense of belonging among the former. There’s a depth of kindness and support among passionate runners. For someone like me, who has struggled my whole life with finding that sense of belonging, often feeling lost and broken down, the supportive nature of the running community has been both healing and empowering.

I know that many people enjoy running solo, I do too. I like to take my Sunday long runs solo – it’s a great way to clear my mind and meditate. But honestly, running with my local group has become the highlight of my week and the prime events I look forward to each week. I’ve met the kindest, most supportive people here. I love hearing their stories and I’m so inspired by them. They motivate me in my own journey towards peace, healing, and personal growth. And we’ve discovered other passions and enjoyments in life that we share outside of running. If you’ve never run with others before, I strongly encourage you to check out a local group, or if you have friends who are also runners try taking a friend run a couple times a week. Volunteering at the races is another great way to meet amazing people and share in the experience together.

No matter where I go or what is waiting for me in my future, the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had through the running community here in Phoenix have shaped me in so many ways. And for sure, I have collected many more beautiful moments that have enriched my life.